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Grape Ape Strain Review
Grape Ape is a study in grapey, fruity nostalgia. If you’re looking to feel like a chilled out 40-foot purple ape (like the character it was likely named for), it’s time to put Grape Ape on your radar.
History and Makeup
Grape Ape is an indica strain originating in Northern California and is the product of Mendocino Purps and Skunk #1 (indica-dominant hybrid), and Original Afghani (pure indica). All three are high in potency, but low sativa content – a trait that was definitely passed down. Grape Ape often tests around 15-25% THC content (courtesy of Analytical 360), virtually no CBD, and therefore has a full-bodied, intense high. It’s mainly propagated by Barney’s Farm and Apothecary Genetics DNA.
It’s unclear if the creators were referencing the 1970s cartoon, The Great Grape Ape, with the name. The main character of the show – a 40 foot tall purple ape in a dashing hat – seems like something one would dream up after a hit of the strain, or possibly an excellent show to binge after a bowl. Either way, it’s fitting.
Flavor and Appearance
I once told the sommelier at my cousin’s bridal shower that my ideal wine is one that tastes like grape juice. Predictably, I received a frown and the hard V of his eyebrows in response.
This, dear reader, is why I prefer cannabis. I couldn’t pick out all the aromas and subtleties in the samples the haughty sommelier handed me. Weed though? Not only does it get me exactly where I want to go, but it’s reliably delicious. You’ve got layers. You’ve got lingering notes and complexities. And if it’s something like Grape Ape, you’ve got the fruity, sweetness too.
Grape Ape, in my opinion, could easily be classified as a dessert strain. Grand Daddy Purple could also make the list of dessert cannabis strains. If you stick your nose in a bag of Grape Ape, you’ll get hit with a luscious aroma that immediately delights. Additionally, the slowness that it takes to hit makes it ideal for an evening wind-down.
Not only is the smell striking, but so is the look. The nuggets are compact, heavy, sticky and a bit skunky. The leaves are a deep, royal purple that darken as the plant matures. Though it’s purple leaves and the grape taste are not necessarily related, it does make for a happy, aesthetic coincidence.
Unfortunately, much of the striking purple elements have often been trimmed away by the time Grape Ape is handed over by your favorite local budtender. There is still some purple in the buds, but not nearly as much as those gorgeous leaves.
Growth to Harvest
As strains go, Grape Ape is rather bushy. The leaves tend to be large and broad, while the plant itself stretches from 100 to 120 centimeters. Grape Ape doesn’t tend to grow higher than 4 feet, and flowers between 7 to 8 weeks. Additionally, it produces around 2.5 ounces of flowers per square foot of plant.
Though it’s nicely resistant to mites, mold, and other diseases, newbies to growing cannabis might want to try a different, easier strain. Grape Ape can be reliably cultivated both indoors and outdoors. If you’re going to try for outdoors, make sure you’re taking advantage of a spot with plenty of sun and shelter from harsh weather. Indoors growing calls for hydro or rich compost.
Grape Ape Cannabis Effects
There aren’t many stereotypes about cannabis that I’ve found to be true. Cannabis users don’t solely dress in tie-dye. We’re not constantly confused. We’re also not highly prone to murder (a la Murder Mountain).
However, Grape Ape fulfilled one of my favorites most often seen in movies and TV: that of the big hands.
Okay, so I didn’t actually see my hands balloon up, but I did feel big when it eventually hit.
After my first inhale, it took ten to fifteen minutes to hit. The heaviness came on slowly – during which I began the newest episode of my favorite podcast, How Did This Get Made. When it did inevitably come over me, I was surprised. I tend to excel at multitasking. It’s not often that I have to rewind media because of distraction. With Grape Ape though, I missed some choice jokes while I took stock of my body and mind.
I consider myself an experienced smoker. Still, I found Grape Ape slightly disorienting due to its intensity. I didn’t so much sink as plummet through my couch, so be prepared for intense couchlock. Fortunately, this was exactly what I was looking for as I’d had a long, extremely stressful week. The intensity, and euphoric side effects, plus the deliciously fruity flavor made it feel like a well-earned dessert.
While I don’t experience much chronic pain, the Grape Ape strain is also known to help ease chronic pain and muscle spasms.
Grape Ape is a gradual, but powerful strain that might very well surprise new and experienced users alike. All in all, it was reasonably uplifting and extremely relaxing. I did wake up with a serious case of dry mouth and itchy, dry eyes, but didn’t notice any heightened paranoia or anxiety. The munchies were, I’d say, a five on a scale of ten.
The sleepy, weighty tendencies would likely appeal to those looking to relieve insomnia or stress. If you’re looking to be bowled over and pleasantly overpowered by your cannabis, Grape Ape might just be for you.